By Perminus Wainaina
“Why your success depends on your level of E.Q. more than I.Q.”
If there is one thing I have learnt about overall success in career and life is that you need a high level of emotional intelligence.
But do you really understand what it means to have high emotional intelligence or E.Q.?
Daniel Goleman was the first to come up with the concept of emotional intelligence and he defines it as “your ability to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions.”
How able are you to do this when it comes to your emotions?
According to Goleman, to achieve career and life success as well as happiness, you need to have a very high E.Q. as opposed to I.Q. This is because your emotions directly have an impact on you and on others.
Enroll For This E.Q. Training Here >>> How To Manage Your Emotions In Order To Impact And Influence Others
So what makes someone emotionally intelligent?
What are the core elements of emotional intelligence?
There are 5 key elements of E.Q. that you and I are going to cover in this article. As you read through, it will become clearer where you are in terms of emotional agility.
Element #1: Self-awareness
How well are you able to recognize your feelings as they occur?
To have a high E.Q., you must be able to recognize your emotions at any given time. You should be able to tell when you are getting angry, when you are frustrated, when irritable, happy, sad etc.
Self-awareness also means a recognition of your strengths and weaknesses; knowing what you are very good in and the areas that you struggle with.
It also reflects on your outlook on life which is influenced by your values and personal beliefs.
So how aware are you of your emotional make-up?
Element #2: Self-management
Now that you have learnt the first element of emotional intelligence, the second stage is, “how well can you manage/control your emotions?”
This is all about how well you can control certain emotions especially the disruptive or potentially offensive ones.
For instance, in a spate of anger and frustration, have you ever said something that you regret?
Having worked as a career coach for the last 9 years now, I have coached candidates who have confided in me that due to work-related frustrations, they have said or done something that they now deeply regret.
A person with a high E.Q. will always refrain from verbally or even physically attacking others because they respond effectively.
In the heat of intense emotions, how well do you manage those same emotions in order to avoid sating or doing something you’ll regret?
Element #3: Self-motivation
What motivates you to keep going other than money, status or fame?
How aggressively do you pursue your goals and remain true to your values?
Are you willing to forego short-term pleasures for long-term life and career success?
Interesting read >>> Why Emotional Intelligence matters in your career development.
A person with a high emotional quotient are self-motivated by deeper things and not those of the surface. They know their driving factors, virtues and goals and hence they stir their motivation from within.
What motivates you?
Element #4: Empathy
Empathy is all about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. It’s about your ability to understand and be conscious of other people’s emotions and needs at any given time.
Case in point; a colleague is very angry this Monday morning because of personal issues at home. They are very irritable and are lashing at you and everyone else in the office.
In such a case, what would you rather do, walk away or try to be empathetic enough to find out what is going on?
How well you develop and form relationships with others is more often determined by how empathetic you are; how effectively you can respond to other people’s emotions.
Do you have the ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes?
Element #5: Social Skills
How well do you use your skills to influence others into a particular course of action?
Your ability to drive others towards a desired action will help you build effective relationships especially in a team.
You will learn how to manage conflict, build team cohesion, effectively manage change and build excellent communication skills.
To have good social skills also means you should be able to focus more on praising rather than ridiculing others.
And this is only exuded by a high E.Q.
So how well do your social skills influence others?
The outstanding benefit of emotional intelligence is that it is a skill that acquired and perfected over time.
It may not come naturally to most (and perhaps yourself) but with good training and exercising of these 5 elements, it can prove to be a key ingredient in your career success.
To learn more about the benefits of E.Q. and enroll now for an upcoming Emotional Intelligence training click here.