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I Was Still Performing at Work—But Mentally, I Had Already Left Months Ago

By Perminus Wainaina

On the surface, everything looked fine.

Targets were being met.
Emails were being answered.
Meetings were attended and contributions were made.

If you asked anyone at work, they would say:
“She’s doing well.”

But internally, it was a completely different story.

Because long before the resignation letter was written…
she had already checked out.

This is a reality many mid-level to senior professionals in Kenya silently experience, staying productive on the outside while feeling completely disconnected on the inside.

Grace (not her real name) knows this space all too well.

Here’s what really happened and what every professional should pay attention to before they find themselves in the same position.

When did you realise you had mentally checked out?

It wasn’t sudden.

It happened slowly, almost quietly.

At first, it was small things:

  • Less excitement about projects I used to enjoy
  • Feeling drained even after a normal workday
  • Doing what was required… but nothing more

I was still delivering. In fact, my performance didn’t drop.

But the passion? The drive? The sense of purpose?

That was gone.

Why didn’t you leave immediately?

Because from the outside, there was no “valid” reason to leave.

  • The job was stable
  • The salary was decent and the company had a good reputation

And in Kenya, walking away from a “good job” without a clear next step is not something you do casually.

So I stayed.

I told myself:
“Maybe it’s just a phase.”
“Maybe I just need a break.”

But deep down, I knew something had shifted.

When did it start affecting you?

After a few months.

That’s when the mental disconnect started spilling into other areas:

  • I was constantly tired
  • I had less patience, both at work and outside
  • Small things started frustrating me more than they should

And the most confusing part?

From a performance perspective, I was still doing well.

Which made it harder to explain even to myself.

Did staying help in any way?

Yes — but again, not in the way I expected.

It gave me time to think.

Because even though I was mentally checked out, I wasn’t in panic mode.

I had:

  • Financial stability
  • Time to reflect
  • Space to observe what I really wanted

And that helped me avoid making an emotional, rushed decision.

What did you do to turn things around?

I realised I couldn’t keep operating on autopilot.

Something had to change — either my situation or my direction.

1. I got clear on what was missing

Instead of just saying “I’m tired,” I asked deeper questions:

  • Is it the role?
  • The environment?
  • The leadership? Or the type of work itself?

That clarity was important because without it, any move would just repeat the same problem.

2. I updated my CV to reflect my real value

Even though I was disengaged, I had built strong experience over the years.

But my CV didn’t capture that well.

I worked with Corporate Staffing Services to refine it. They helped me:

  • Translate my experience into measurable impact
  • Position myself for roles aligned with my level
  • Present my career story more strategically

And that changed how I approached opportunities.

3. I started exploring quietly

I didn’t resign immediately.

Instead, I:

  • Applied selectively
  • Networked intentionally
  • Took time to understand the market

This gave me confidence — not just hope.

4. I upskilled with direction

I realised part of my disengagement came from feeling stagnant.

So I focused on:

  • Short, practical courses
  • Skills directly linked to roles I was targeting

This made me feel like I was moving forward again — even before leaving.

5. I created an exit plan

This was the biggest shift.

Instead of just feeling stuck, I started:

  • Setting timelines
  • Tracking applications
  • Preparing for interviews

I moved from passive dissatisfaction to active transition.

What No One Tells You About Mentally Checking Out

1. You can perform well and still be disconnected

2. Staying too long in that state drains you

3. Lack of clarity keeps you stuck

4. Your CV is your transition tool

5. You don’t have to quit immediately

6. The goal is not just to leave — it’s to move better

Final Advice from Grace           

“Don’t ignore the signs just because you’re still performing. If you feel disconnected, pay attention to it early. And don’t wait until you’re completely drained to make a move.”